Me and the Other

When we talk about human relationships, what is present, beyond people?

In the same way that khaki green can be brown for some, and turquoise blue can also be understood as green, the title of this article can mean very different things depending on who reads it. For some, “me and the other” can mean “me with the other”; for others, it can mean “me against the other”, and even, for some, “me without the other”. These interpretations will depend on our personal circumstances, our expectations and an individual predisposition that will instinctively drive us towards understanding, fight or flight.

The systemic gaze, however, does not focus on the conditioned tendency of each one of us, but invites us to look beyond. From the systems thinking model, “I and the other” does not mean one part and the other, one part against the other or one part without the other, but the sum of all this + the relations resulting from said arithmetic. The greater the diversity, the greater the number of possibilities. Seen from this great model of thought, the reality that surrounds us transcends the idea of the personal interpretation of what happens to launch us into a contemplation of reality capable of revealing to us the interconnected set of parts that make it up.

You and I are three

In short, you and I are not two: You and I are three. We are one, we are the other and we are the interconnection between the parts. So, we are also everything we build when we are together. Our way of listening to ourselves or interrupting each other, of supporting or confronting each other, of ignoring or submitting to a few examples, predisposes us towards concrete decisions and actions that not only condition you and me, but also the relational system that understands us.

But that’s not just the case between two people. The number 2, “me and the other”, is only the minimum unit of a relational system, the maximum being the entire set of human beings who inhabit the planet, not including animals, plants and the entire complex astronomical system that keeps our precious blue planet in orbit around its star. Therefore, regardless of whether the number 2 can become 100, 10,000 or 10,000 million individuals, the number 3, the third entity, will continue to be one. One and sovereign, and will continue to govern the history and destiny of humanity, no matter how much we try to ignore its presence.

This is true in an entire society, an organization, a team, or a couple. Understanding this relational space, this third entity, ignored but always present, allows us to increase our well-being, transform conflicts, enhance collaboration, and develop not only emotional intelligence, but also social and relational intelligence.

Sergio Blancafort
Academic Director of Green Light GO, Organizational and Relational Systems Coach (ORSC), Co-Active Coach and Somatic Coach.

What is ORSC™ Team and Relational Systems Coaching?

ORSC (Organization and Relationship Systems Coaching) is a model developed by CRR Global, an international reference in team coaching and relational systems. The ORSC methodology goes beyond the relationship with oneself and with others: the focus shifts to the relationship with the group, the team or system.

This is the first systemic coaching training approved by the International Coaching Federation. At Green Light GO, we are exclusive partners in Spain of CRR Global and we have a team of professionals from this institution committed to the learning, rigor and real transformation of our students.

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